Tips for Making Time For Intimacy In a Busy Life

Finding intimacy in today's busy world is a challenge for many couples. This tips for making time for intimacy in a busy life sums up the struggles many face. Between packed schedules, long to-do lists, work demands, and family responsibilities, quality time together often falls to the bottom of the priority list.

But research confirms intimacy is key for relationship happiness and longevity. Prioritizing physical and emotional connection leads to lower stress, better communication, increased commitment, trust, and more satisfaction overall.

Yet exhaustion, distraction, and mismatched schedules can make it hard to maintain intimacy.

This article provides actionable tips to help busy couples carve out more opportunities for regular intimacy. With planning, creativity, and commitment, you can protect your bond even in busy seasons.

Learn why intimacy matters, assess your obstacles, and discover strategies couples use to build more affection, closeness, and passion into hectic lives. You’ll also get guidance on creating an intimacy plan tailored to your relationship needs and goals.

If life has forced intimacy off your priority list, it’s time to change that. Reclaiming intimacy is possible for every couple.

Why Should You Prioritize Intimacy, Even When Life is Crazy Busy?

Intimacy often takes a backseat when life gets chaotic and schedules fill up. But making time for physical and emotional intimacy should be a top priority for every couple, even during the busiest seasons. Here's why:

Intimacy Strengthens Your Emotional Bond

• Sharing your inner world brings you closer.
• Prioritizing intimate conversations shows your partner they matter.
• Deeper understanding of each other's needs, fears, dreams.
• Creates a safe space for vulnerability and support.
• Enhances trust, affection, friendship, and partnership.

Benefit	Description
Deeper Understanding	Knowing each other's inner worlds, needs, fears
Increased Trust & Affection	Safe vulnerability builds reliance and caring
Strengthened Friendship	Intimacy fosters friendship and partnership

Intimacy Reduces Stress

• Affection releases oxytocin, lowering stress hormone levels.
• Focusing on each other provides a break from daily worries.
• Shared burdens halved, shared joys doubled.
• Laughter, playfulness, massage reduce anxiety.
• Better sleep when you feel safe and connected.

If you feel like emotional or physical intimacy is seriously lacking in your marriage, be sure to check out this guide on how to bring back intimacy in marriage.

Biggest Obstacles to Intimacy When Life Gets Hectic

It's easy to let intimacy slide when you're stressed, exhausted, and overscheduled. While the reasons are understandable, neglecting your physical and emotional connection can harm your bond over time. Below are some of the most common obstacles busy couples face when it comes to prioritizing intimacy:

Lack of Quality Time Together

• Overflowing calendars leave little free time.
• Too tired at the end of the day.
• Falling asleep quickly from exhaustion.
• Pass each other like ships in the night.
• Lack of daily social interaction and bonding.

Obstacle	Impact
Overflowing Calendars	No free time for quality time together
Exhaustion	Too tired at the end of the day for intimacy
Lack of Communication	Missing daily social bonding

Stress and Exhaustion

• Work pressures, financial stress, etc.
• Emotionally drained from childcare duties.
• House chores feel neverending.
• Leads to negative thinking patterns.
• Impacts self-esteem and body image.
• Lowers libido and arousal.

Technology and Distraction

• Glued to devices during downtime
• Social media, TV, internet suck up free time.
• Checking work email in the evenings.
• Phone addiction impacts genuine interaction.
• Reduces conversation and familiarity.

Distraction	Impact
Device Addiction	Less genuine interaction
TV, Social Media	Less free time together
Work Email	Hard to "unplug" from work

Communication Blocks

• Talk logistics over emotions.
• Assume you know each other's needs.
• Avoid discussing disappointments.
• Don't share fantasies or desires.
• Forget to dream together.

Many couples find it difficult to maintain intimacy long-term. This article offers helpful solutions for how to improve intimacy in your relationship.

Tips to Cultivate More Intimacy in Your Busy Life

Finding time for intimacy can feel impossible some weeks, but small efforts make a big difference. Here are tips busy couples can use to carve out more opportunities for emotional and physical connection:

Schedule Intimate Date Nights

• Devote time to reconnecting 1x a week.
• Take turns planning unique dates.
• Schedule it like any other obligation.
• Build anticipation throughout the week.
• Turn off devices and focus on each other.

Limit Distractions in the Bedroom

• Keep TV and computers out of the bedroom.
• Put phones away or on airplane mode.
• Protect your intimate space.
• Invest in blackout curtains for better sleep.
• Read, talk, and cuddle instead of scrolling.

Prioritize Small Moments of Connection

• Hug, kiss, snuggle as you pass by each other.
• Chat while making dinner or tidying up.
• Text sweet or thoughtful messages.
• Cuddle in bed before sleep when exhausted.
• Affection releases oxytocin and reduces stress.

Moment	How to Connect
Passing by	Hug, kiss, snuggle
Making dinner	Chat, enjoy company
Before bed	Cuddle when too tired for more

Improve Communication

• Check-in daily on moods, feelings, stresses.
• Discuss relationship issues early.
• Ask thoughtful questions.
• Actively listen without judgment.
• Emotional intimacy builds trust and understanding.

Key Takeaways

• Schedule consistent date nights
• Eliminate bedroom distractions
• Reconnect during small moments
• Strengthen communication skills

Creating an Intimacy Plan for Your Relationship

Setting concrete goals around intimacy and outlining action steps will increase your chances of success. Follow this guide to create a personalized intimacy plan:

Assess Your Obstacles and Relationship Strengths

• What's preventing intimacy most currently?
• How's your communication and emotional connection?
• What are your strongest relationship assets?
• Which areas need the most work?
• Discuss assessments openly with your partner.

Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals Around Intimacy

• Specific - Set precise goals like date nights per month.
• Measurable - Establish metrics to track progress.
• Achievable - Start small if needed, then expand goals.
• Relevant - Ensure goals align with your needs.
• Time-bound - Give goals a deadline.

Goal Setting Tips	Examples
Make goals specific	2 date nights per month
Use metrics to track	Intimacy 4 times this week
Start small, expand	15 min cuddle sessions
Align with needs	More emotional intimacy
Give deadlines	Plan date night Fridays by 5PM

Schedule Intimacy Builders

• Calendar set date nights.
• Plan intimacy activities like massages.
• Block off technology-free time.
• Set reminders to connect throughout the day.

Outline Relationship Roles and Tasks

• Divide household and childcare duties equitably.
• Make sure each person's workload allows for intimacy time.
• Renegotiate if needed to even out burdens.
• Outsource chores if possible.

Celebrate Successes

• Acknowledge any progress made, even if small.
• Do a fun activity together after achieving a goal.
• Verbally appreciate your partner's efforts.
• Stay positive - it's a process with ups and downs.

Want to take a more strategic approach? This guide to the best ways to save your marriage has an in-depth intimacy plan template.

Reclaiming Intimacy is Possible - Start Taking Steps Today

No matter how busy life gets, reclaiming intimacy in your relationship is achievable with awareness, planning, and commitment to each other’s needs. Follow tips for making time for intimacy in a busy life:

Recap the Importance of Intimacy

• Vital for relationship health and happiness.
• Lowers stress, improves outlook and communication.
• Strengthens trust, affection, appreciation.
• Maintains passion and connection through life’s ups and downs.

Have Compassion - Change Takes Time

• Don't get down on yourself or your partner.
• Old habits take time to overcome.
• Focus on progress, not perfection.
• You’ll likely need several tries to find what works.
• This is a relationship-long journey.

Start Small, But Stay Persistent

• Massage or cuddle for 10 minutes before bed.
• Schedule one fun date night this month.
• Take a walk together after dinner.
• Cook a meal side-by-side.
• Share one vulnerability, fear or dream.

Small Steps	Description
10-min massage	De-stress together before bed
1 date night	Reconnect without distractions
After dinner walk	Bond through conversation

Check-in on Intimacy Goals Weekly

• Review your intimacy plan together.
• Discuss what’s working vs. not working.
• Troubleshoot obstacles that arise.
• Reaffirm your commitment to the process.
• Adjust goals as needed.

The path to more intimacy starts with one step today. What will yours be?

References:
How to maintain intimacy in relationships when life gets busy
Making Time for Intimacy